Emergency Room!

Last night, we took Baby L to the emergency room. Friday, I had contemplated taking her to the doctor - but then backed down after hearing my husband tell me "I'm sure it's nothing" for the forty-second time. And, I - the woman who hates more than anything to go to the doctor for "nothing" - chose to take his word for it. Why? I'm still not entirely sure. When it comes to intuition, I seem to always beat him (too bad I'm constantly second guessing myself when it comes down to it)...and afterall...it is ME who stays home with Baby L EVERY DAY and it is ME who knows when she eats (how much, and what), when she plays (and with what) and when she naps - as well as her general disposition. And yet...I took his word for it.

Friday night, Baby L had gotten worse. Her fever had spiked up to 100-dot-something and she had a horrible sounding cough which always was followed by a cry. She wanted to be held - yet, not touched. And, she definitely had NO interest in playtime...or sleep time - which left me a little confused as to what to do. And then chimes in my husband "You probably should have taken her to the doctor."

Saturday wasn't much better. Tylenol and baths weren't bringing the fever down and we were both miserable. I was tired and worn down from no sleep...and she was...well, not feeling good. So, when husband came home...we trekked to the ER. Her fever was 102.4, the cough had worsened and she was NOT happy.

But, then the funniest thing happened. You see, with me (and apparently mine)...the ER tends to magically heal us (until we leave). Upon entering the nurse's station to be examined (so we could be ranked in priority for the doctor - dying vs. not), Baby L was overcome with a giggly disposition. If it weren't for her 102.4 fever, I'd have looked like a total liar. The initial exam (stats) took about 10 minutes and then we were off to the waiting room. For. Five. Hours.

Those five hours were some of the most interesting five hours of my life. I must admit, I felt like my IQ plummeted a bit after conversing with a few, but it WAS interesting. First there was the friendly sitting in the seat next to mine, letting me "in" on some very simple truths. Things like:

"Your daughter is much like a dog, you see. You need to talk to her all the time. It doesn't matter what you say, just talk to them. It makes them feel better." and then he turns to my daughter and says, "It's okay sweetie! Momma's doing the best she can. She's doing the best she can. Oh, yes, the best she can." --Right, you get it. That went on for about 30 good minutes. I can copy and paste that phrase if you would rather the full effect.

and...

(as we pull a bottle out for her because she's hungry) "Someday, you'll know by her cries what she wants. Like that cry...I know she is hungry" (Duh...the kid saw the bottle and started crying "bahbahbah")

Oh, sir...however did she survive this far. Please tell us more. Perhaps how to feed her? Diaper her?

Parenting Experts in the Emergency Room? Priceless.

Oh, but my FAVORITE of all the wisdom inflicted bestowed upon me, were the solutions offered by the crowd of older folks as alternatives to come to the Emergency Room. I've compiled a list...I thought you would enjoy them.

Whiskey. Great for teething babies. Great as a painkiller. Great for cleansing wounds. Great in general. What are we...in the Wild Wild West?

Canola Oil. Drink it. She didn't say for what or why. Just, drink it.

Turpentine and Sugar. Drink this little tonic to cure a cold.

Vick's Salve. Eat it. Now, I've heard of putting it on your feet...and the standard application for your chest. But one man swore by eating it. Whatever floats your boat.

Kerosene. Douse yourself. I have to admit this was my favorite. Use kerosene for gaping flesh wounds and even minor scrapes or burns. I'm going to take a stab at it and suggest you not do this around a camp fire. But, you make that judgement call.

**Disclaimer: I am in no way suggesting you use these. In. No. Way. However, if you choose to please wait and do it once you are standing in front of the Emergency Room already.